I feel like everything I wrote in the past few days was me just trying to be super positive, hoping that as I think – so shall I think. You know, positive thinking begets positive thinking. But I have just come to realize it’s really not that easy. I just watched my 32-second video of Dave talking to me and I was reduced to tears. I miss him. I really really really miss him. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand how much I miss him and I know that’s why I’m trying to be all positive and not think about it. Because when I think about how I don’t get to have a life with him, how I once did and it disappeared, my life is unbearable. When I see him I feel him. When I feel him I die inside again and again. I know he’d be horrified at what his death has done to me. I know it. I don’t want him to be dead. I want him here with me. This is just so unfair. I want my Dave. Why did he have to go? Why him?