sniffles and gripes

While there is a large part of me that hates being sick, there is another part of me, albeit small, that finds some peace in being sick. It’s like I finally have the most perfect excuse to lie in bed all day (which I only get to do a few times a week,) do my work half-assed or make a few things in the course of my day all about me. In some ways I guess it gives me justification to not give a shit about the pointless crap that wanders and weaves through my everyday. Ok, to be fair, it’s more than a small part that finds some peace in this. And to clarify – it’s probably more than a few things that become all about me. I’m just being honest. When I’m sick only a few things matter – I sleep, I have orange juice and I have tissues. Screw everything else – and that therein is the only thing good about being sick. The screw everything else part I mean – not the part about only needing three things.

It’s been odd getting accustomed to having no one worry about me, though. It’s not that big of a deal, due to the fact that I’m a badass chick and scoff at the primal needs of mere humans, but every once in a while I’d like someone to fawn over me and bring me some soup and a box of tissues. Perhaps come over with a good movie and some beer or wine. Not that I should drink the alcohol when sick, but the thought would be acceptable, even if it would be providing for my future comfort – like when I can drink it to myself when I’m alone and healthy and broke from doing half-assed work. But in all seriousness, I do miss having company. I guess I’m more human than I want to admit – most probably a side-effect of past events, though I’m wondering if someone ruffied my cough-syrup.

I have been lying in bed for the past four hours knowing all along I should’ve been sleeping. But, you know how it goes. I’ve been surfing the Internet and catching up on all sorts of guilty pleasures – like responding to emails, checking job listings (just ’cause,) going to the US Geological Survey site, getting addicted to the new season of So You Think You Can Dance and creeping various people’s Facebook profiles. I guess I really need to refine or extend my concept of making a day all about me. Did I mention I did half-assed work for the first six hours of the day?

I can feel the weight in my eye-lids and I only woke up 12 hours ago. I have been having the oddest and most stressful dreams lately and that too is making me push off sleep. You know – the post-appocalyptic kind where you need to learn to function in a new world order scenario. I wonder what my brain is trying to tell me? Guess that peaceful part I find in being sick really is quite small. It appears my subconscious is in league with my body. Tricky fuckers ganging up on me like that. Guess I’ll have to beat them at their own game and get some rest. Just wish I hate more OJ.


About humanbeen

I'm a has-been that was. I'm a dreamer that does.
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