A lifetime is long. There is the tired and old saying that life is short. Perhaps it is for some, like when the reaper takes his toll before the time we thought we were promised here. But for some, for many, life is long. Seconds play out like hours. Days play out like weeks. Months feel like years. I have heard people claim they have lived many lifetimes in their existence here. I don’t correct them. I think what they mean to say is they have lived many different types of lives, or the lives of many different kinds of people. But no. I don’t believe a single person who says they have lived lifetimes.
Some passages of my life have been short. I think everyone has events, whether they be at a job, an apartment, a relationship – that are short-lived. But there in no knowing how long these events will be at the onset. I approach them like they may last forever. I learn of them. I learn the people involved. I learn the ways and not the ways of existing within these scenarios. I learn how to stay myself. It is easy to metamorphose into what makes it easy to exist in new situations. It’s easy to put yourself aside and become something new to pretend that it is not life changing all around you – it is you who is changing. But I must come clean. I have changed very little since I was a child. I know more. I see more. I can think longer and harder about things. And I have learned to recognize my stubbornness. But all in all, most of the building blocks that were put in place by the time I was twelve remain in the same place. Not everything is the same. But I cannot ever claim that every tiny event that has occurred in my life has changed me. When they’re over, I always end up reverting back to the girl who always had to say what she thought even if it meant the boy across the street would punch her in the face. There was, in almost every occurrence, something that did change, however. I have always come out of every experience knowing a few more beings, a few more souls, a few more examples of people who exist in this world. And many of these people, whether it was thirty years ago or two, I still know to this day.
Through my life the only constant has been change. It seems cliche to write that. And it is. But there have been other near constants. These have been friends. People. Loved ones. People who in the blink of an eye can brighten my day. Who can enter my heart unchallenged. Who help my world go around. Who ease my breath the moment I see them. Who reassure my faith that I am still a part of something. People who remind me how long this life has already been and how many wonderful memories I have because I met them. Life is long. It is our friendships, it is my friendships that I have always wished would last as long as my life. For isn’t it when a friendship ends that we feel we have failed at some important part in life? When a friendship ends, don’t we assume we should’ve known better or could’ve tried harder? Am I the only one who feels this way? A lifetime is long. And each and everyone of us knows a story of someone who spent their whole life neglecting or forgetting someone who was meant to be a part of their life.
I think what I mean to say is – while you may have all the time in your world to live your life as you see fit, it is not the time in your world that will determine how other’s live their lives – it’s the time in their world. My life might be long, not everyone else’s is.