my pet

Darkness is weird. I wish it would obey me more, but I hardly spent any time training it since I got it. I shouldn’t be surprised when it’s under my feet when I step or messing up little things and creating issues that I later have to clean up. I can’t say I despise cleaning up after it. I mean, it’s young. It doesn’t really understand where messes are supposed to be made. It doesn’t understand that it can’t just go about things on its own – recklessly forgetting that there are other things and beings it could get in the way of. But I do have to clean up after it. Maybe it’ll behave more when its older. Maybe after a few years it’ll mature and calm down and not get so easily excited. Maybe. I hope.

Darkness sometimes likes to be the centre of attention. I try to reign it in, but it just gets away from me at times. Sometimes I can’t help but let it run around and get a little attention from everyone. I get exhausted constantly having to nurture it. But I know not everyone likes Darkness. I mean, some people get uncomfortable when Darkness is around. But that’s their issue, right? Perhaps they have a childhood memory or some other hangup. Perhaps they’re afraid. Or perhaps they just need to take the time to understand Darkness and realize that not all of them are the same. I really think it’s where they come from and how they are brought up that makes all the difference. I suppose if I took more time to train it.

At first, Darkness was very shy and clung to me a lot. Most of the time it didn’t understand when it had to relieve itself and would just end up going at the oddest moments and sometimes in the worst places. It was never playful. And when the shyness began to wear off, it got almost aggressive. It would lash out at anything that came close or invaded its world in the slightest, but I think that was mostly due to a lack of comprehension with its own existence. Of course, once it began to become more comfortable, it settled into an almost daily routine. But still, when the routine was interrupted, Darkness was unpredictable.

Lately I’ve gotten used to Darkness’ unpredictability and so I’ve been changing my daily routine to suit my own needs. Imagine – there I was trying to live to accommodate Darkness. Who does that? I mean, I know owning Darkness wasn’t my choice – it just sort of happened and there was nothing the two of us could do about it, but I have to put my foot down at some point and inform it that it doesn’t rule my life. If we’re going to be stuck with each other, Darkness needs to learn that I’m more important. I think if it takes me a few years to teach it that, it’ll be worth it. And it’s not like I won’t learn to love Darkness. I’ll always take care of it. I’ll always be there for it. But seeing as we’re stuck together, we will both have to learn to co-exist. At least Darkness is weird – just means life won’t be boring. I hope, for both our sakes, though, that we do learn to co-exist.


About humanbeen

I'm a has-been that was. I'm a dreamer that does.
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