Category Archives: starting over

and i will say

A million quotes exist to say why one leaves a place so dear as home. Why home no longer is quite home. Why urges rise to take flight and leave. Why for some the mere idea of staying evokes a … Continue reading

Posted in adventure, home, starting over | Leave a comment

so much to do

My time is winding down. I feel so unprepared. Vaccinations, packing list, do I get a smaller backpack?, Christmas shopping, packing up my belongings, having my storage stuff moved, checking up on visas, plane tickets, going-away outings, seeing friends, work … Continue reading

Posted in adventure, starting over, travel | 1 Comment

if this is it

The coolest part about living on an island in the far corner of the world is that the rest of the world is a place I can truly say is quite far away – on so many levels. There’s a … Continue reading

Posted in adventure, New Zealand, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

twenty-three days and counting

Rarely do I feel the childish excitement and anticipation that usually precedes a monumental life experience. It kind of sucks. I’d like to get giddy and silly and bouncingly-happy about things, but I often find when I do that things … Continue reading

Posted in adventure, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

recovering

The flashbacks are getting clearer. I’m remembering more from moments we shared and I can see him in every fine and small detail I loved. I’ve even dreamt about him, and I next to never dream about anyone who is … Continue reading

Posted in coping, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

connections

I’m sitting on the step of my trailer talking with Margo about life and how it feels to miss Dave – and this profound truth comes swimming into my head like an old memory from camp days when I was … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

two months

I feel so incomplete without you here. There’s a hollowness in my gut and a black hole in my chest. My brain still feels like it’s on a spin cycle and my heart – it’s completely broken and grey. Two … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

as for now

When I saw Dave in San Diego I gave him a jade necklace I picked out for him in New Zealand. He had given me his pin necklace before I had left, so I felt that I had to replace … Continue reading

Posted in coping, death, fear, grief, heartbreak, loss, starting over, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

death

I’m crying a lot today. I think it has a lot to do with me numbing myself out lately. I know drinking will solve nothing, but when I have a few drinks at night it numbs me out. I’m not … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, fear, grief, heartbreak, loss, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dave

Dave, you made my world bigger. You made my life more amazing. You made me more amazing. When people would talk about how awesome of a dude you were, I’d brim and think – that’s right, and he’s mine. When … Continue reading

Posted in coping, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, starting over | 3 Comments