Tag Archives: loss

five years

I made it. I made it five years. Do I get a badge now? A congratulatory cookie? Is there some kind of database my name goes into detailing that I survived this … darkness? I really wanted to ask what … Continue reading

Posted in adventure | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

recovering

The flashbacks are getting clearer. I’m remembering more from moments we shared and I can see him in every fine and small detail I loved. I’ve even dreamt about him, and I next to never dream about anyone who is … Continue reading

Posted in coping, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

my drive – part 2

I couldn’t hike down to the spot where Dave died. It was steep and my legs were exhausted. The whole climb up I marvelled at how my chain smoker could climb that hill everyday. I kept pausing to gasp for … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

passenger

Things are changing so quickly lately. The rollercoaster has been getting stuck in certain places for longer amounts of times and occasionally I have been having five straight minutes in one reality – the reality. It’s becoming clearer who Dave … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

death

I’m crying a lot today. I think it has a lot to do with me numbing myself out lately. I know drinking will solve nothing, but when I have a few drinks at night it numbs me out. I’m not … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, fear, grief, heartbreak, loss, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

my grief

I have been reading up on grief. I suppose I was trying to find some explanation as to why I feel so crazy. My brain is constantly buzzing, like there’s a murmur of voices all at once but I can’t … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, fear, grief, heartbreak, loss, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments