Tag Archives: love

five years

I made it. I made it five years. Do I get a badge now? A congratulatory cookie? Is there some kind of database my name goes into detailing that I survived this … darkness? I really wanted to ask what … Continue reading

Posted in adventure | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

the stages of breakups

Ah love. Sweet dreary love. It’s beautiful and wonderful until it all turns sour and you’re splitting up the towels, figuring out time-share custody of the dog and deciding who gets the friend neither of you really liked. When relationships … Continue reading

Posted in heartbreak, love | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

recovering

The flashbacks are getting clearer. I’m remembering more from moments we shared and I can see him in every fine and small detail I loved. I’ve even dreamt about him, and I next to never dream about anyone who is … Continue reading

Posted in coping, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

my drive – part 2

I couldn’t hike down to the spot where Dave died. It was steep and my legs were exhausted. The whole climb up I marvelled at how my chain smoker could climb that hill everyday. I kept pausing to gasp for … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

connections

I’m sitting on the step of my trailer talking with Margo about life and how it feels to miss Dave – and this profound truth comes swimming into my head like an old memory from camp days when I was … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

attachment and love

Attachment is a strange thing. Love is even stranger. People have philosophized about love for millennia and it’s no wonder why. It messes with our senses. It invades our thoughts. It creates a most resilient form of attachment that even … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

a letter

Dear Dave, The weather’s beginning to change. It’s not that it’s cool out yet, not really, but I can wear jeans and it doesn’t bother me. You would be itching to leave here by now. But we would be leaving … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

two months

I feel so incomplete without you here. There’s a hollowness in my gut and a black hole in my chest. My brain still feels like it’s on a spin cycle and my heart – it’s completely broken and grey. Two … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, grief, heartbreak, loss, love, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

death

I’m crying a lot today. I think it has a lot to do with me numbing myself out lately. I know drinking will solve nothing, but when I have a few drinks at night it numbs me out. I’m not … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, fear, grief, heartbreak, loss, starting over | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

shock

I cried for hours yesterday. I couldn’t comprehend it, and it was debilitating. I was trying to work on the packing mat when this wave just came over me and I started to cry. I wasn’t even thinking of Dave. … Continue reading

Posted in coping, crying, death, grief, loss | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment