The past is a story we tell ourselves about who we once were, the lives we once lived. It has the capacity to alter us in the present, or wound us deeply. And yet what the past means to us is forever changing, when we grow, evolve, or devolve – whichever it may be. Maybe the real truth is that the ghosts of our past are there to remind us that we might never know who we truly are right now, and that's ok
the morning light
https://videopress.com/v/zObE7fVj?resizeToParent=true&cover=true&autoPlay=true&loop=true&playsinline=true&posterUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fvideos.files.wordpress.com%2FzObE7fVj%2Fwp-1742755785275_mp4_dvd.original.jpg&preloadContent=metadata&useAverageColor=true It dawned on me recently - astonishingly - that I like early mornings now. Teenage me would be rolling her eyes at my conformity to adulthood. But I can no longer deny it. I like waking to the sun creeping through the gaps in my curtains. I like the sporadic rumble of cars waking …
ready, set … snow :(
Ah autumn. I love it so. As soon as I can feel it coming I get excited, and not just because it's sweater-weather. There's the bold burnt colours on display, like the trees are dressing-up before their skeleton slumber through the dark dark days. There's the loosening of a summer well-lived, the last days on …
anchors aweigh
When I was young I read a quote that said, "If you don't change, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?" I've thought about this quote for decades, and while it's been instrumental in my existence, I've learned that change isn't always about who you are. Sometimes the best thing that …
words from my defiant pen
I'm a master storyteller, though some might call me liar. They and them won't care to know the difference, but there is one. I can spin a fantastic yarn, one that hides a million life-truths. I can twist this world better than them and they. I'll weave some worlds into words, and lay them out …
my aching bones
When I say I'm OK with getting older, I have to think maybe I'm lying a little and haven't thought this all through so well. I mean, yes yes, it's so much better than the alternative, as far as I know. But things aren't exactly happening the way I imagined when I was a young …
the freedom to evolve
It's been six months since my last post. it doesn't matter how hell-bent I am to write more frequently - a tête-a-tête I have far too often with myself, I somehow neglect writing, and wind up here ambivalent, but surprisingly determined that I will be different from this point on. And I write something cleverly …
the Covid ripple
Ramblings A few months ago I quit my job. It wasn't dramatic or anything like you see in the movies. There's a clause in my contract that says I have to give three months (from the end of the month) notice, so it was rather premeditated. I just felt done, but I still have a …
riding the wave
I haven't written about the pandemic for a while, but here we all are in the middle of the second wave (or is it the third?) wondering when it will crest. Wondering when the downtick will begin, and things can begin to go back to normal. Or some kind of normal. The copious infection rates …
were we wrong?
The trains in Stockholm are getting busier, at least during rush hour, and just before the start of school, and when it lets out, and also late at night when the other shift ends. People aren't so shy about taking that seat next to me anymore, though they often turn their back to me and …
Humanbeen's Blog 
